Lonny party announces election candiate

dublin | politics / elections | press release

Wednesday March 28, 2007 16:14

by bigchiefrandomchaos - irish monster raving loony party

loony at politicalfreak dot com

0863044686

Hey, my Name is Big Chief Random Chaos aka Paul Craig and I would like to announce that I will be standing as a candidate in the up coming general election on behalf of the Irish Monster Raving Loony Party. And while this party doesnt exactly exist in reality ( yet), it exists in the mind of 10's of 1000's of people living in Ireland, 100's of dogs and 2 chickens living in Mayo, they just dont know it yet

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I will be running in the Dublin South East constituency.

Why Dublin South East? Because thats where Michael McDowell (McDool) does be, and I might aswell try and put a smile on his face...an impossible task..but hey ya got to have a challenge.

Why am I running?

Because I want to move to Leinster house to see how the crazy people live.

Who is Big Chief Random Chaos?

Some know me as Chief, some know me as that freak, that wierdo.
Some know me as that guy dancing in - euh what is that stuff.
Some know me as Paul and one even knows me as Dad.
Im a lucky loony and I want to give something back

I believe that we should be able to vote by text a member of the Dail as the 'Slimy One of the Week' The slimy on shall be made stand outside Leinster house, wearing a Pinnochio-like nose where passersby can laugh and shout things like 'YOU - You know what you did withe your crazy glasses and nazi salutes'.

I believe that we should be paid for our waste. Waste in this country is big business and we freely hand over items such as tin, paper and glass - items that have a value and we should get a part of it. People living on the steets could collect Tin and paper and bring them to specially constructed bring banks throught the city and exchange them for cold hard cash

And on the subject of lost waste, you know the way methane is an energy source, I believe that we should have F.A.R.T. Banks (Flatualent Air Retrevieval Tanks). Places where we can utilise our normaly wasted personal gases. We could even put a special on at the base of the spire which could fuel a giant flame out of the top. And nobody can argue with this one fact: we will have them created one of the most unique and remarkable tourist attractions the world, yes the world, has yet seen.

As the OMRLPI is the party party we want 24 hour pub and nightclub licencing. Letting drunken nutters out on the streeets at the same time is exactly how it sounds - nuts. And besides sometimes I just want to dance and dance and dance - and then dance some more.

I believe we should lower the voting age down to the age where we can first draw an X and count to ten. Its time we listened to children and besides something interesting might happen